Blog Posts

One Sheep, Two Sheep

She lies in darkness, eyes closed,

Empty thoughts prevail, wild and reckless.

Her eyes awaken, now that they’re forced,

Fingers frantic, fiddling with the necklace.

Empty thoughts prevail, wild and reckless,

Noises by the door, distinct in their silence.

Fingers frantic, fiddling with the necklace,

Heart beating fast, unable to find a balance.

Noises by the door, distinct in their silence,
The click of a doorknob, the ruffling of feet.
Heart beating fast, unable to find a balance,
Aberration in breath, hidden under the sheet.
The click of the doorknob, the ruffling of feet,
Her eyes awaken, now that they’re forced.
Aberration in breath, hidden under the sheet,
She lies in darkness, eyes closed.

So I recently found out about pantoums.

Pantoums originated in Malaysia in the fifiteenth century as a short folk poem made of rhyming couplets that were recited or sung.

As the pantoum spread, the importance of rhyming diminished and the modern pantoum is a poem of four-line stanzas in which the second and fourth lines in each stanza serve as the first and third lines of each stanza. The last line of a pantoum is usually the same as the first.

I hope that was understandable, in case not, here’s a template I found online.

So yeah, I gave it a try as well! Tell me what you think of it, and give it a try if you feel like it. It’s pretty cool. Until later,

Bye Xx,

SLTD.

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oeuvre

She used to have a way with words, people said,

A story woven like a blanket,

Smothering yet comforting.

And so, she wrote.

But then came The War,

The War within her head,

Fear and destruction taking over,

Leaving numbness, trying to forget.

Nothing helped.

People, them, him, her, I.

How was she to set aside her past, her whimsical tragedy?

So she turned back to what she knew best.

Her egress away from the confront she faced.

And so, she wrote.

It wasn’t the same,

Beautiful? Yes, if the mass was to be trusted.

Validation streamed in, she trickled out.

A river drying up, a tree meeting its end,

She realised her art-

Her art was chaos, the same way she was.

And so she wrote.

Then came a time of peace,

Tranquility, as they say.

But she knew it was just a hiatus,

Until the gunpowder was filled again.

She tried.

Tried and tried so damn hard,

To write.

And so she wrote,

but she didn’t know what to write about,

what to do with the calm,

The unknown.

She wrote, but it stayed unfinished,

A lover never returning, a bird never landing, a story never ending.

All she’d ever learned,

Now she didn’t know.

All she’d ever thought to be gospel,

Now gibberish that her pillow heard at night.

But when The War struck again,

The battle regaining its might,

She wrote.

Wrote so fiercely, tempestuous in her rage,

That the words became ugly,

No longer a window to look out of,

But bars to hold onto desperately.

And so she wrote.

You know what they say,

Time tends to run away.

So there came a time again,

Where The War seemed to have come to an end.

And now,

There was no uneasy wait.

There was anticipation, hope,

A girl trying to peek into the future,

A girl trying to cheat life by living it better than it was allowing her to.

So now, she saw the colours,

Not just red, black or blue.

She saw yellow, she saw light, she saw green, she saw life, she saw purple and everything in-between,

She saw a girl, holding her hand and singing sweet.

She saw herself, swinging,

Not in that desolate lone swingset she passed by everyday,

but in a playground full of noise.

She heard.

Her hands itched, her mind ran,

Wanting to shout, wanting to burst into a cacophony of symphonies, wanting to fly.

The girl met her lover, the bird its family,

the story awaiting a happy ending.

And so,

She wrote.


Well ahem,

Hello there!

I was definitely not on an almost-year long break with no inspiration to write whatsoever, that was definitely NOT the case.

Those things aside, hey everybody! I hope everyone’s doing good, I know it’s been a long time since I’ve interacted with you all and I missed you, but hey I’m a college student now, living the adult life and everything.

So I hope you enjoyed that poem(?) and all I can say is that I hope this will help me get back into the flow of posting again.

*Fingers crossed* see you soon,

Bye XX,

SLTD.

Atrophy.

TOXIC

ɒksɪk (adjective)

poisonous.
Example: “the dumping of toxic waste”
synonyms:
poisonous, venomous, virulent, noxious, dangerous, destructive, harmful, unsafe, malignant, injurious, pestilential, pernicious, environmentally unfriendly.

She read the definition over and over as she waited for his arrival.

Destructive, harmful, unsafe. Yes, he definitely fit right in. And yet, she couldn’t stay away. She knew that he would lead to her inevitable extinction. However, she continued to believe that things would change. No, it wasn’t a belief, was it? It was hope. A dire desire for a better future that kept her going.

It hadn’t always been like this. When they had first met, through a mutual friend at a party, he had been enamoured by her. Stuck around the whole time, called a cab for her to go back home even though she insisted that she lived only a few blocks away and wasn’t drunk at all. And he had continued to stay by her.

So she fell and fell, kept falling in love, thinking there would be no end to their fervour.

But then, she hit rock bottom. Discovered that there was no way up and that she’d fallen so deep that she couldn’t see the light above anymore.

It’s not that she didn’t try to get away. But she always fell back to him because she no longer knew how to survive in the luminescence. She had become a creature of the Dark.

So she stayed.

He didn’t always hurt her, only when she went against his direct orders. She tried not to, she tried her best. Nevertheless, she was only human. And she committed mistakes. But she endured, she deserved it after all. He had warned her, she forgot. Therefore, she was at fault, right?

Even if she did leave, where would she go? She was damaged goods and he was all that she had in this world now. Loneliness. This fear was strong enough to override any other feelings. To her, being together and unhappy was preferable to being alone and unhappy. He took care of her and she was grateful that someone still cared.

People changed. He had changed once and he could change again. She knew he could. She had already seen his bright side and she thought she could unearth that side of him once again. Only if she stayed could she make sure his heart became warm again.

So she stayed.

And the jealousy, the possessiveness that he showed, didn’t that mean he loved her? He adored her? The violence was only to make her understand her wrong, to show that he cared? Wasn’t that right? The pain would remind her not to err again, it was perfectly normal, wasn’t it?

And at least, she didn’t have it as bad as the others. She’d read in the newspapers of abusive partners, that hit their spouse, sometimes even leading to their death. So she was better off, right? Sure, their relationship was far from perfect but it was good enough. Every couple fought once in a while, it was normal.

So she stayed.

Stayed because she couldn’t think of a time before him, because she had become a parasite, clinging to him for some petty praises to garner their relationship.

Stayed because the only true love she had received had been from him. She hadn’t known a loving touch until she had met him. Hadn’t been wanted until him. So the possessive desire he showed, it was better than alienation and animosity. And she could endure it as long as she didn’t have to go back to being alone.

Stayed because love wasn’t meant to be easy. Relationships took hard work and hers was just a little more strenuous. It was a struggle but she did it with no complaints, thinking it would lead to a better tomorrow, a brighter, happier one.

Stayed because she had given up. The light of the day was quite frightening and unknown and she didn’t know how to survive out there. She had grown accustomed to him, the same way a weed clings on to a tree. But then again, weren’t weeds plants as well? They were just trying to survive. And if she had to make a few sacrifices so that he would stay by her side, she’d gladly do it.

Stayed because they’d been together for so long. For years now they had lived a symbiotic life, coexisting with each other. She had invested a huge fraction of her life into the relationship and giving it up now would mean it had all been for nothing. That she was once again, worthless.

Stayed because she had forsaken daydreaming, herself and life itself; having no more reason to think that her life could get better, that she deserved better. There was no more faith, dreams or wishes left in her.

So she stayed. As she had years ago, as she did now and as she would continue to do. False hope was a terrible thing, keeping her alive, slowly draining her until she would be a mere husk of a human.

Settled, lingering around him, unsure of her future but sure of who she would spend it with.


Hey everyone!

It’s been a while, and I’ve tried writing a lot this past month but always came up with half baked storylines.

Today however, I was listening to Butterfly by BTS and decided to take the lyrics in a different direction.

I hope you liked the story. If you thought of a particular someone while reading this, go talk to them. Those who are in toxic relationships may not know they are in one let alone how to end it. Knowing that they have someone else looking out for them helps. And if you are in a relationship like this, I urge you to try and leave. I’ll look out for you. Feel free to talk to me.


Also, not that it’s a big deal or anything, *shrugs* BUT TODAY IS MY FIRST ANNIVERSARY!

I’ve completed a YEAR of running this blog and I want to thank each and everyone of you who actually reads the scribble that I post. I do this to express my feelings and emotions and all your feedback and positive comments and especially your not-so-subtle reminders to keep writing is what keeps me going.

So thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.

Thank you to all of you who make my blog complete, who give meaning to this silly adventure of mine and thank you for sticking through my tantrums and rants. I love all of you and I hope you continue to stay by my side and support everything that I do.

If I’m in a good enough mood, I’ll upload soon. Nothing too deep, maybe another ‘Getting To Know You’ as I’ve got a lot of requests for its revival.

Have a great week ahead.

Bye Xx,

SLTD.

The Dystopian Alphabet Song.

A is for anathema

She knew that her sole purpose in life would now be to avenge those she had lost.

B is for blasphemy

He knew that there were atrocities occurring around him that he couldn’t control so had to choose to ignore.

C is for crippled

The young boy, merely 8 years of age, struggled to live through his childhood as a mere spoil of the war.

D is for debasement

The fighting spirit was gradually dying and along with it, any hopes as well.

E is for evasion

Houses lay barren but the streets were littered with struggles and cries for help.

F is for faux

Those who ruled lived and loved in their pretend world of Harmony.

G is for greed

The lust of those who had had a taste of power was unquenchable.

H is for heinous

Crimes were abundant, as an act of rebellion or a plain act of cruelty.

I is for inhumane

Animals and humans lived alike, stray, hunting for scraps and fighting over a shelter to sleep in.

J is for jinxed

Because nothing else could possibly explain what happened, why the world fell like this.

K is for killed

The dreams, aspirations, love and hope. All nipped at the bud by those who have no soul.

L is for loneliness

She now had not a single soul, no one to even ask what she should do when she felt alone.

M is for melancholy

The atmosphere was in a constant funerary state, the weather gloomy as though reflecting the people’s thoughts.

N is for nihilistic

Life wasn’t worth living, in a place with restrictions. What was the point after all when there was no Almighty to save them anymore.

O is for obstruction

Justice was no longer blind. Instead she was on the payroll of those who’s pockets were deep enough to conceal their corruption.

P is for partition

Families existed no more, brother and sister forced to fight each other, divided and conquered.

Q is for quarantine

Time was running out for the lawless, their death loomed upon them like a shadow that would never leave unless darkness was the only thing that existed.

R is for revolution

Those who still dared to dream dreamt of a different future, one in which they would know how to live as free people.

S is for sacrifice

Those who had gone against the system, by their free will or by the family they were born into lost their lives, all in the name of fighting for their freedom.

T is for treason

No one was to be trusted. Especially those familiar to you for they knew too much, spoke too much for a few scraps. Survival of the fittest ruled.

U is for unethical

Everyone knew this treatment went against basic human nature; to love and to live in families, to wander freely. History had taught them that they shouldn’t be allowed to be stomped over.

V is for vengeance

Those empowered knew that it was too late to make amends of any sort and the only way to seek control was to continue. If they stopped, who would show mercy on those that had been merciless to the world?

W is for wrath

Slowly but surely, the nation was stirring. The citizens knew what they needed and they would fight for it even if they lost.

X is for xenophobia

Humans aren’t meant to be solitary. But how could they not be now, scared of making any relations with their own people, let alone strangers who tried to offer a helping hand.

Y is for youth

The only hope of those who survived was that their unfulfilled dreams weren’t unnoticed by the generation that was starting to form their own opinions and beliefs.

Z is for Zeitgeist

The defenders captured the general views of the country. Later in history, it would go down as a triumphant freedom movement, or a sidenote of an attempt to crush the foul villains.


Hey everyone, Simon is still alive! And sort of thriving. I’ve been quite busy these past two months.

Anyway, hope you liked the post. Comment below which word was your favourite.

Bye Xx

SLTD.


Petrichor.

TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual assault & violence.

The raindrops fell,

timid and seemingly anxious.

I sipped my hot chocolate as I stared out of the window at the empty street in front of my house. I always enjoyed the rain, achieved a tranquility in it that was hard to feel in our busy, metropolitan lives. The rythm of the raindrops, the gentle stream of water flowing down roofs and the peace that came from everyone staying indoors. It was nearly impossible to be free of all worries at this day and age, but when it rained, momentarily, it all stopped.

That’s when I heard it- the creak by the stairs. I lived in an apartment with my two roommates but they had both gone out. I was supposed to be all alone.

“Mike, is that you? Have you come back?” , I asked as I moved towards my dresser where I kept my pocket knife. It wasn’t much, but if there was an intruder in the house, at least I’d have some sort of protection. I took my phone out of my pocket, keeping it ready just in case I’d have to call the police. No one answered me but I was sure that I’d heard a noise.

I sat on my bed, pretending to be absorbed with my phone and then… footsteps. Almost silent, but definitely footsteps. I quickly dialed the police and whispered my location to them. It was only when I turned around that I realized. The door that led to my room was ajar.

Panicking, I ran towards the door to close it. Worst mistake I could have made. The trespasser immediately came up on me from behind the door, grabbed my arm and twisted it around, making me immobile. I struggled violently with a sudden, uncontrollable fear as I realized that his hands were slowly snaking their way through my clothes.

I felt like puking as he heavily breathed down my neck, while he told me about how he was going to use me, how there was no one to save me. I stopped struggling just as he got his knife out and started tearing off my clothes. The fight drained out of me, I was crying now. I felt helpless and utterly useless.

Why were we never taught what to do in such a situation? Why was I just always told to dress appropriately, behave appropriately? Don’t look at strangers on the road, don’t give them any incentive to come after me. I had done everything I was supposed to. And yet, after following all those rules, after all that stigma… Here I was, being raped by a man who had learnt throughout his life from experience and society that my body was his to own and abuse.

I couldn’t give up now, could I? The police were on their way, I just had to hold him off until then. I realized that he’d loosened his grip on my arm and that my pocket knife lay on the floor next to us, forgotten. I kept my eyes on his sweaty, grinning face as my hand slowly inched its way across to the penknife and got a hold of it. Under the pretext of another futile struggle I switched it into the hand that he held.

From then on, things happened quickly.

I stabbed his hand so that he let go of me and I ran. He cursed and ran after me, until he had me sandwiched between him and the wall. He charged towards me, knife in hand but I was quick. Just as he reached me, I ducked, using his momentum to divert his hand into himself.

Blood. Slippery and dark red. Shock and an adrenaline rush.

After that, it was all a blur.

Paramedics found me curled up in a corner drinking my now cold ‘hot’ chocolate. Torn, blood soaked dress and a knife in my hand that I wouldn’t let go of. And my rapist? Dead from multiple stab wounds. I would have to be taken to the station for questioning, they told me as I was led outside.

As I sat in the police car, I stared out of the window at the deserted streets.

The raindrops fell,

timid and seemingly anxious.


Hello everyone! Soooo, how’s everyone been this past month? Well, today marks six months( oh my God) since I started this blog so I had to upload something interesting…

I hope everyone’s well, thank you all for reading this and please leave a comment below about what you thought. Have a nice week ahead,

Bye Xx.

SLTD.

The Liebster Award, once again!

Can you believe it, two blog posts in two days! Is it really Simon writing? Or has an otherworldy being taken over my body? I’m honestly not sure I’d mind if a spirit wanted to posses me. I feel like we would be able to come to a diplomatic solution that would benefit the both of us. I did promise to finish both award posts so here it is, the second award!

Well, I’ve already been nominated once before for this award a while ago. However this time, it holds new meaning to me because I learnt from Chizurue‘s post that the word Liebster is the German word for beloved. This just throws a whole new light on this award! It’s all about giving and receiving love from your community and finding out new things about your fellow bloggers and even yourself when you answer the questions. I’m very excited to answer these and even more eager to put forward my questions! Let’s get on to the actual post now, shall we.


Rules:

  • Share the link of the blogger who has shown love to you by nominating you
  • Answer the 11 questions
  • Nominate 11 bloggers for the same award in the spirit of sharing love and solidarity with our blogging family
  • Ask them 11 questions!

Chizurue is an avid blogger who I’ve recently become friends with. However, let me just say that they are SO consistent with their posts and I’m a fan of their writing. Also, they’re a booklover, manga and anime addict, music enthusiast and their blog posts consist of reviews, thoughts and opinions on a spectrum of topics. I don’t kid about how often they post because as I am working on this, I’ve just received a notification for a new post of theirs.

Thank you so much for nominating me and I hope my answers are satisfactory.

🙂


Chizurue’s 11 Questions

1. What is your crazy dream (may be the literal dream or something you want to be)? The craziest one yet or you could list ’em!

Ans. Well, a dream that I once had was that I was on a ‘space’ship (an actual ship that just floated in space) and it was a cruiseliner full of celebrities that my friend was piloting. Now, the crazy twist was that my friend was actually a suicidal terrorist who had steered the ship into a meteors path for the sake of killing everyone for some unknown reason and everyone on the ship was unaware of this and just thought that the meteors were shooting stars. It was very overwhelming because I had to try and save them.

Hopefully, no one tries to analyse this dream.

2. A character you would like to meet in real life and be fast friends with (or maybe more than friends)? Why? (Anything from anime, manga, k-drama, books, tv series)

Ans. SO MANY CHARACTERS. One person I ardently wish to be friends with is The Doctor. For those of you who don’t know, The Doctor is the lead character in the Sci-fi TV Show Doctor Who. He has a time machine, is an alien Time Lord with a British accent and also has a sonic screwdriver. Basically all the conditions that I look for in a friend.

But jokes apart, The Doctor is someone I feel we all should follow in our daily lives. He’s always accepting of everyone regardless of their flaws, fixes everybody’s problems even if it could lead to trouble for him and is more humane than most humans I’ve met.

3. To follow up that previous one: Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?

Ans. Oh, that’s an interesting question. I’m not sure because most characters in books have some redeeming points but off the top of my head I’d say Crabbe and Goyle, the henchmen of Draco Malfoy in The Harry Potter series. They just seem like a bunch of dunderheads, to put it rather bluntly.

4. Favorite music or album you could listen to all day? And why? Is it the lyrics, the melody or the vocals?

Ans. I don’t have one singular album that I’m addicted to and I’m a fan of almost all genres of music and don’t like confining myself to one. So, I wouldn’t mind any of them, at this moment however, I’m listening to Disney songs cause I love the vocals and it’s very visual music which is perfect for my creativity.

5. What book / anime would you recommend to someone who has never read / watched anything from that medium?

Ans. I’ve only watched one anime so far and that’s Yuri on Ice. However, I would definitely recommend watching it because it’s a different concept and it’s heartening, adorable and has a good storyline. Infact, I would like for you guys to recommend some anime for me.

6. What are you deathly afraid of?

Ans. This is an easy one, crows and honeybees. I understand why they’re important for the ecosystem but I’d rather not personally interact with them. The mere thought gives me goosebumps.On a more philosophical note, being forgotten is also something that scares me.

7.What is the funniest word to you?

Ans. Codswallop.

8.What mythical creature would you like as a pet?

Ans. A dragon, phoenix or Pegasus.

9.What’s the most useless talent you have?

Ans. Procrastination.

Actually, I have absolutely no idea.

10.If you could level up humans as a species, what stat or ability would you increase? And why?

Ans. I wish humans had the ability of flight and/or being able to breathe underwater. I’d also level up their survival skill set.

11.Would you rather live your entire life in a virtual reality where all your wishes are granted or in the real world? Explain your choice.

Ans. In the real world. While this world is far from being utopian, the flaws and ups and downs are what makes life worth living. Having all my wishes granted virtually would not let me live life to the fullest.


MY QUESTIONS

  1. What does the word ‘darkness’ make you think of?
  2. What was your favourite book as a child?
  3. If you had to give up on of your 5 senses, which would you choose and why?
  4. Have you ever suffered a huge loss and how did you deal with it?
  5. You find a book with your whole life story in it from the point of view of an external narrator, including the future. Would you read it? Till where?
  6. What shade of blue describes your mood right now?
  7. What is your view on the existence of God.
  8. Would you want to relive the past?
  9. How does the moon and the night sky make you feel?
  10. Here’s a lighthearted one, what’s the most recent book/manga/manhwa you’ve read and what do you think about it?
  11. Do you think aliens exist?

Well, that is all for the questions and now it’s time to move forward onto the nominations.

I know that everyone has already been nominated for this award before so if you don’t wish to make a new post then feel free to just comment your answers down below. I really want to know what you think.

I nominate:

Jaune

Auri

Zircon

Synnove

And Lucia


And with that, another post has come to an end. I hope you enjoyed reading my answers and that my questions made you think before answering. Have a nice day,

Bye Xx,

SLTD.

The Blogger Recognition Award.

Hey everyone!

Surprise, I am alive after all and yes, I am aware of the fact that it’s been a few weeks since I last posted…

Okay, a month.

FINE, almost two months, I’m sorry!

So even though I have been on a *ahem* short hiatus, two people actually thought that I deserved some recognition and nominated me for two more awards!

So, I’ve finally decided to acknowledge them and today’s post is going to be about the Blogger Recognition Award that I was nominated for by Jaune!


Rules of the Award

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and leave a link back to their blog.
  • Give a brief history of your blog.
  • Give two or more pieces of advice for new bloggers.
  • Nominate 10 other bloggers and link their blogs.

So firstly, thank you for recognising me as a worthy blogger Jaune! If you didn’t know, she’s a fellow blogger and friend who’s recently come back from a long hiatus and writes articles, poems and stories on various topics and also recommends songs. l will warn you though, Jaune is an avid fan of Korean music and you’ll definitely see the influence of it in her posts.


History

Well, I haven’t had this blog long enough for it have a history as such, only for around 5 months. However, if you’ve read my first post, you’ll know that this blog is a revamped version of my previous blog which I had made almost 2 years ago but never actually seriously got involved in. Just think of this blog as a 5 month old baby phoenix. I started out with the intent of this being an anonymous blog that I wouldn’t personally share with anyone.

However, even though I maintain the anonymity now, it’s for a different reason. The pseudonym exists not to hide who I am, but rather to defer the judgements people make based on their first impressions of a person. I prefer unbiased views on my writing that I enjoy sharing with others and that was the primary purpose of me starting this blog.


Advice

To be honest, I don’t really know what advice I could give that you wouldn’t already be aware of and like Jaune mentioned in her post, I too am not the most qualified person to advice experienced bloggers. But here’s something that I think is important to remind yourself about-

  1. Don’t ever think of it as a task- If your blog becomes something you need to mark off your to-do list, then it’s no longer enjoyable. And the most important thing when it comes to something like blogging and writing, is to not force yourself. Now I don’t mean that you don’t set a goal or a schedule for yourself, but if you’ve been trying to think of an idea all day and your mind is blank, let it be. Writing, in my personal opinion, should never be forced and you should never feel the need to write just for the sake of putting up a post on time. This would only lead to you posting mediocre writing.
  2. Write from your heart- Now I know that this might sound quite cheesy, but always write on a topic you’re passionate about or on what inspires you. I often see many people spending a long time on what to write for an article in class on topics like ” Debit Cards or Credit Cards” but also write pages for some articles that require only 120-200 words. Clearly, when you’re invested in the topic, you write better and more honestly. Therefore, it’s extremely important to write from within. Don’t fake it, you’ll just ruin your post.

I think that’s all the advice that I have for my fellow bloggers. Hopefully, it helped and just remember to relax and lay back once in a while. Enjoy the breeze and the sun, or if you prefer the indoors, make sure you don’t spend too long staring at a screen.


Nominations

Here’s the thing, all my fellow bloggers have already been nominated by Jaune! So I don’t exactly have anybody to nominate. However if you wish to take part in this award, leave a comment down below and I’ll “officially” nominate you. I’d love to get to know some more bloggers and widen my friend circle.

That’s all for today’s post everyone, I’ll be back tomorrow for the next pending award post. Until then,

Bye Xx

SLTD.